Monday, 21 December 2015
~ If somebody calls you beautiful, laugh at them, you are more than that.~
So recently whilst I was lost on YouTube I stumbled across this concept- free plastic surgery is being offered in the US to children and teenagers who experience bullying, based on their physical appearance. Whilst I know that bullying is incredibly damaging to a person's self esteem and self worth and often leads to a long lasting negative perception of oneself and in worst case scenarios, suicide, what I also know is that when you want to deal with a problem you have to deal with the problem itself. In his case the problem is the bullies, who are telling others rude, hurtful and untrue things, who need to be dealt with.
By offering teenagers free plastic surgery to change an aspect of themselves, adults are teaching children that they are and have been at fault which only justifies and sympathises with the actions of bullies, and telling victims that they are the "problem" only gives bullies the right to continue with their destructive behaviour. Adults are also teaching children that their self worth is determined by others' opinions, which will affect these children throughout their lives as they will feel it is necessary to change themselves for others and ignore their internal feelings and desires.
I think the concept of "victim blaming does largely come into play here- the idea that the victim needs to be different or to do something different in order for the perpetrator to stop. It evolves from the human desire for control. Realistically we can't control the actions of another human being, so we look to something we can control and we convince ourselves or our children that it's their nose or ears or chin that needs to be "fixed." Parents, if you think that this will solve your child's problems with bullies, wait until they get bullied for having plastic surgery! The bully is going to try to find anything, realistic or not, to make their victim feel insecure, miserable and worthless.
What I think really has to be done here is education. Schools need to take an active interest in the welbeing of their pupils and parents need to properly guide their children and help them understand that self acceptance is the only way to happiness. Bullies behaviour should be addressed seriously- they should be confronted by teachers and parents and taught that their behaviour is unacceptable and will not be tolerated, however should be made to see a counsellor or psychologist as it is common for people who bully others to have family problems such as traumatic events or abusive or negligent parents. In this way the root of the issue is dealt with. I think it is also important to note that most people who were bullied had said they hadn't noticed the "problem" with their physical appearance before they were bullied about it.
All in all what I am trying to communicate is that adults should really guide their children and teach them to accept their unique traits and features because they are what makes them individual, and not to comply to the superficial expectations of society, rather to find meaning and joy in who they are and what they do.
Until next time⭐️
Wednesday, 8 July 2015
~Like wildflowers, you must allow yourself to grow in all the places they believed you couldn't ~
We live in a dynamic ever changing fast moving world. There is a constant pressure to be on the move doing something, working towards something and above all achieving something. When we get caught up in everything going on around us we forget to take the time to be reflective and calm, we forget to take the time to be simply aware of who we are and what we are feeling without having the need to interfere.
There is so much beauty in the world around us. Just look into your garden and admire the patterns off leaves of simple gatherings of dewdrops in the morning. These things have always just been there and are always taken for granted, yet we forget that we are very lucky to have nature in our lives.
My long term goal is, I think, to disconnect from social media and reconnect with the real world around me. I know I get so absorbed in the online world, a place where anyone can manipulate their photos to make their lives look stunning, a place that is in no way a true representation of real life.
There is also a whole other issue of gratitude in our lives. As human beings we always crave more, no matter what we already have. We can always see someone who has the latest, coolest technology, the most fashionable clothes, the most likes on Instagram, whatever it is we manage to convince ourselves that we are nothing, we have nothing and everyone around us overly lucky and successful. I do this all the time myself. What I am guilty about is how plenty of people have less than I do, yet manage to do more as they appreciate and accept themselves and what they have just as it is. Right now I can only strive to be like these admirable people.
I know I've not been here for a while most of that is what this post is about, my goal for this week is to simply be reflective and appreciative of all the wonderful things around me.
Until next time⭐️
Thursday, 5 March 2015
~The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away~ Alysia Harris
You try. They don't. You follow up. They never bother. You chase. They forget. Why? Why do we get caught up with people like this. People who don't care about us, don't inspire us, don't help our positive growth. Why do we continue letting toxic people into our lives and neglecting the ones that have been there from the beginning. Maybe the answer lies in ourselves. We want what we can't have.
I think I've been down this road too many times. Whether it's chasing after someone who is not really interested or investing too much time and energy into a relationship that is crumbling, the result is the same. Hurt, pain and worry. Where did I go wrong?
I think there are things we can all do to avoid this unhealthy cycle. Welcome into our lives the ones who welcome us wholeheartedly. Spend time with those who wish to spend time with us. We are all human and it hurts to be rejected or ignored. Once I had a friend who I made the centre of my world. It's not that this friend was a bad person, but as I moulded everything around them, I began to neglect everyone who actually mattered and cared. Maybe this is the most important lesson anyone could have taught me. Care about those who care.
On the other hand, we've all felt a little bit lost somewhere, whether it's a new school, new country or just a class we have no friends in. Perhaps we could take the time to say hi to an unfamiliar face. When you feel lost simple things can really make your day. Kindness is never wasted no matter how big or small and we can all contribute to the kindness in this world even if we can't control many other things in our lives.
Until next time⭐️
Thursday, 26 February 2015
~Yes it happened, but this is what's happening now and you're missing this~ Mrs Incredible
Does anyone else ever watch a movie or read a book or hear something someone on the street said and think " wow that would make pretty good life advice". I know I do all the time. I was actually thinking about that movie "the Incredibles" and how Mr Incredible is so wrapped up in his "glory days" that he forgets to acknowledge the present and forgets to realise that what he has now in this very moment may be different, may not be as glamorous as before, but is the most beautiful thing that can ever be.
I think we all forget to appreciate and accept the present because we've either planted unrealistic future visions in our minds, or we are so consumed by the past and the things in our past that we either took for granted at the time or didn't fully appreciate.
In doing this we betray ourselves- things are meant to be as they are. Take the time to look around at the beauty that surrounds you, in nature and in people. Before I left my home city I never really noticed the mountains or the noises, sounds and smells of it. Admire the architecture of raindrops or the glow of the sun or the patterns of a tree. Simple things are the most beautiful.
My goal for this week is to appreciate. In the end of the movie 'the Incredibles', all the members of the family are able to accept each other as they are in spite of their weaknesses and in consideration of their strengths. I think we should accept ourselves and our world as they are in this moment.
So before I conclude, here the highlights of my past week;
Nature: the patterns of the world astound me
Friends: I am truly grateful for the people in my life right now
Writing: where else can I store my creativity?
Books: a much needed escape
Food: maybe I'm a gourmand
Colour: one of the most beautiful things about the world
Peace: some countries are not so fortunate at the moment
Have a good week! Remember to breathe and smile.
Until next time⭐️
Friday, 20 February 2015
Often I think we get too caught up in things we don't really care about. Work, school, studies all build up and we leave the things and people who bring meaning into our lives discarded in a corner somewhere. It's not that we don't want to finish that novel we've always been dreaming of, or write that hit song, or just say a few words to someone we care about, it's just that we place our real desires into a "someday" basket and in most cases leave them there.
A while ago I had a teacher who used to give us a " quote for the day" everyday. Something to think about, something to reflect on. Even though it's been years this particular quote has stayed with me. It keeps me focused on the things I want, the people I care about, the strength I need and the courage and resilience to get through life when things don't go too smoothly.
I think we can all learn and be inspired by one another and the environment in which we live in. I've been fortunate enough to travel and I know that my experiences in other cultures have really broadened my perspectives and got my creativity juices flowing. Just the way in which another culture interacts, their language, their traditions, their food and the way they live their everyday lives as a pose to how I live mine on the other side of the world. I'm really thinking about who I am and how that integrates with my culture and the views and values we hold here in Australia.
Until next time⭐️
~If you love what you do you'll never work a say in your life~
As an aspiring writer, when I stumbled across the concept of blogging (thanks to my wonderful friends, family and the Internet) I was surprised, amazed and inspired. I had wanted a constructive way to share my thoughts, experiences, ideas and of course stories and poems, and blogging offered me everything in one place! I'd say this will be a writing centred blog but not restricted to that. I'll post weekly and if you have any suggestions I would love to know.
Until next time⭐️